saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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