If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
