so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
