were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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