Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
