there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
