found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
