C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
