i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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