Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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