Someone shit on the floor
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
