Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
