ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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