found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
