Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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