I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
