we have pet lesbian snakes
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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