kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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