plz talk dirty to me
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
