dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
