I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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