her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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