Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
