Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
