Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
