I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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