I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
