whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
