Pappa wants mamma naked
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
