It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
