Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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