you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
