She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did I show you my penis last night?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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