they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
