Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
50% drunk capacity currently
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
