I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
