just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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