Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
