her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
