Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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