My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
