who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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