Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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