I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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