there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
