just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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