the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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