The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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