take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
