we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
