In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
