okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
